I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
