its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
