You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
