Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You can't motorboat a personality
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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