Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
