what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
