Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
