I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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