Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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