do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize