This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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