I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize