I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
