Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i think i have herpe
just one?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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