I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize