There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
