Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
