Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
there is glitter all over my balls
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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