How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!