I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Randomize
