I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
