okay pat passed out under dana's car
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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