Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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