I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize