I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize