Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
