I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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