You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
