its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I enjoy the company of your penis
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