remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
