I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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