Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
