are you so shy because you have an std?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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