Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
