What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
