She said her name was "party"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
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