So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
