i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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