I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So vagazzling was a success
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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