I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We talked him into tasing himself.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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