Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
