I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
