So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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