Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
