Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
