Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
