She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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