You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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