i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
