I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
