I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
