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Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
