The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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