If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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