i just wanna soil my oats bro
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
