I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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