I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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