he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
