I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
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the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
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you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize