the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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