He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
