its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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