i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
