if i can run in heels then i can drive
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize