I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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