Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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