does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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